Miki DeVivo Photography

Everyone looked so lovely and it was a joy to be able to share in this special time in your family’s life.

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I had never been to Napa Valley before. As waited for the rental car shuttle at SFO, I had to pull on my coat. It was 20 degrees cooler than when we’d left Phoenix. We climbed into the rental car, argued with the GPS and headed out through Oakland.

Napa rises suddenly out of the landscape. One minute it’s strip malls and big box stores, and then poof, you’re practically in heaven.

One of the things that I found so special about the area, besides the yummy food and wine, of course, was how a place looks and feels when the land itself is clearly recognized as valuable. Many places pay lip service to the value of the land, but in Napa, it’s no metaphor or platitude. Unlike other parts of the country where McMansions sprawl, the land itself is more valuable here than any building. On the one hand, this makes me very sad, as to me, the value of the earth is inherent despite what can be grown there or not. On the other hand, I am so very thankful to that this place exists and that the land will be protected, no matter what the reason.

Another thing that I loved about visiting the wineries were the stories. The story of the winery, the family who built it, and the land its on, drives each  decision the wineries make. The history and tradition are not dusty relics but alive and meaningful for every person who is part of the larger family of the winery. And the stories deepen and enrich the experience of the visitors as well. We drove past one winery that at first appeared completely out of place and almost garish. But then we heard the story of why it was built, each stone lovingly carved in Persia and carefully brought here to celebrate a culture and heritage the owner had to leave behind.

And how often is this true for us as well? On the surface, we make assumptions and judgements. But once we hear the story that lays underneath, nothing can remain but love.

 

 

All images taken with my phone. I find that when I travel, the phone’s limited capacities are actually freeing. The image either works or it doesn’t. I either take it or I don’t.

A few weeks ago I got to spend a lovely evening with this beautiful family. We played with Elmo and chased the dog. Read books and climbed on toys to look out the window. Then it was time for a yummy dinner, a warm bath and tag-team-twin teeth brushing. Mom and dad are high school sweethearts and the depth of their love and commitment shines through in every interaction. There’s a lot of action in a house with 1 year old twins and a dog, but under it all is a foundation of peace and warmth. Everybody in this family is all-in. It was inspiring and heart warming.

 

Ah, life with little ones…

 

The teamwork between these two is so beautiful…

 

And here’s one of my favorite sequences from their Book of Love…

 

“The most meaningful thing to me is that we always stay close. We can always depend on each other. The girls can depend on us and trust us. Whenever they have a problem in life, no matter what it is, I hope they can come to us and we’ll figure it out together. In the end that’s the biggest thing for me: togetherness.” ~ Dad

“I am proud of all of them. They’re exceeding my expectations of what I thought a family would be. It feels natural and it feels like this is how things are supposed to be, and it’s a sense of contentment. I don’t feel that I’m looking for anything. I am very content.” ~ Mom

 

 

Last Wednesday I spent the morning at Staples cutting, laminating, and hole punching a full set offor each of my kiddos.

Even though the notes can be given out one at a time, I thought that putting them all together in a little book would be a special treat since it was so close to Valentine’s Day.

I haven’t really done much for the kids for Valentine’s Day in the past. I’ve helped them make cards for their friends, but for some reason it never occurred to me that I would like to give them a token of my love as well.

This year, however, my focus shifted when my daughter asked me if I would make a Book of Love for her, and I realized that this was a good opportunity for me to walk my talk. This led me to creating the Love Notes in the first place; I wanted a way to show my kiddos that I love them and that I see them for who they are.

Filling out the notes was an interesting experience. On the one hand, it was strange. Popular parenting wisdom cautions against comparing and labeling kids. I was concerned, at first, that they might read the other’s book and be upset that I had said something to one that I hadn’t to the other, or that the observations I made would feel like “labels” to them—descriptions that they either felt compelled to fight against or struggle to live up to.

But as I kept going, and really tuned into what I love most about each of them, I realized that what I wrote was a way of truly seeing and deeply honoring them as individuals. I was reflecting back to them, not what I hoped for them or wanted them to be, but who they truly already are.

When my son opened his, he snuggled up next to me on the couch as I read his book of Notes to him. As I read, he moved closer and closer and his smile grew wider and wider. My daughter had seen me drawing the blank notes a few weeks earlier and was so pleased to have a set just for her. She immediately called her grandma over to sit with us and began reading hers out loud. As she read, in the special voice she uses when she’s feeling particularly happy, her face shone brighter and brighter.

And in speaking the truth, in naming for them their very best qualities, it strengthened and deepened their trust in and love for themselves. They saw themselves through the lens of my love for them, and the effects of this mirror of love have been so sweet. My daughter is so proud of herself and her book that she carries it with her to school. My son leaves his on his dresser, where he can see it ever day.

 

And I know that they know that my love for them is deep and true.

 

Click here for your own set of Love Notes for Your Loved ones.

You have no idea how hard I’ve looked

for a gift to bring You.

Nothing seemed right.

What’s the point of bringing gold to

the gold mine, or water to the ocean.

Everything I came up with was like

taking spices to the Orient.

It’s no good giving my heart and my

soul because you already have these.

So I’ve brought you a mirror.

Look at yourself and remember me.

~Rumi

 

This is why I love photography so very much. Why it makes my heart sing to do what I do.

This mirror.

This mirror is you though, not me.

This mirror shows all the very best parts of who you are. All the beauty and wonder of your life as it is right now.

And I believe what is reflected in that mirror is the pure love of your own heart shining back at you.

 

Yes, there’s lots going on. Yes, if you step on one more Lego in the middle of the night, you might lose your mind. Yes, the endless whys and the constant need sometimes make you want to run away screaming.

 

And yet.

 

And yet you love them. Deeply and completely. With all your heart.

And there are moments of beauty that take your breath away. Not grand, wild gestures, no idealized perfection of children that sleep through the night and laundry that magically washes and folds itself.

It’s the little things. The small details. The everyday moments that in a split second can go from mundane to achingly beautiful.

The way your child smells just after a bath, snuggled warmly in his towel and curled up in your arms.

The way she sticks her tongue out just a little bit, concentrating as she reads.

The way his whole face lights up with excitement and pride as he sings every single verse of The Farmer in the Dell.

In these moments, our hearts swell and we know beyond a shadow of a doubt, deep in our very bones that this is why we do what we do. These moments make it all oh so very worthwhile.

And these are the moments that need to be captured. These are the moments that must be frozen in time. For yes, they will be oh so precious to us as the years slip by.

But even more than that, we need them right now.

 

This mirror that shows us today the exact image of what our hearts and souls look like.

 

This moment to truly see each and every beautiful detail of faces and bodies, expressions and gestures, of those we love the most.

This time to spend completely focused on our dear ones without distraction.

This putting aside the everyday world and bringing our attention to our families fills us with love and joy, connection and belonging, awe and wonder. Right now. It is sacred. And it is healing.

This is the mirror I want to hold up for you so that you can see the sparkelingly beautifully, perfectly imperfect, messy, sticky, wonderfulness that is your amazing life right now.

 

Your life is beautiful. You are beautiful. Right now. Just like this. Just as you are.

 

And if I can share with you the gift of a mirror that reflects this back to you, if you can give this gift of being so clearly seen to your most loved ones, then I will have done my job.

And our hearts will be full.